woensdag 3 februari 2010

Lach van de dag

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

- Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
- Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
- CS: "What sort of trouble?"
- C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
- CS: "Went away?"
- C: "They disappeared."
- CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
- C: "Nothing."
- CS: "Nothing?"
- C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
- CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
- C: "How do I tell?"
- CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
- C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
- CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
- C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
- CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
- C: "What's a monitor?"
- CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
- C: "I don't know."
- CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
- C: "Yes, I think so."
- CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
- C: ".......Yes, it is."
- CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
- C: "No."
- CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
- C: ".......Okay, here it is."
- CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
- CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
- C: "No."
- CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
- C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
- CS: "Dark?"
- C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
- CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
- C: "I can't."
- CS: "No? Why not?"
- C: "Because there's a power outage."
- CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
- C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
- CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
- C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
- CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
- C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
- CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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